Moment of Clarity....
Today unfortunately I was reminded as to how fragile I currently actually am. As I stood up to walk towards my bedroom I choked on something.
Normally clearing one's throat is a pretty simple process. I realized rather quickly I didn't have the strength in my core or in my lungs to clear my throat and although I could get a little bit of air in at a time I was in a lot of trouble.
My life is so surreal. I think it's the state of not knowing what's wrong and having so many different episodes as I call them.
Filling up paperwork just in case truly puts things in a different perspective.
So as I sit at my kitchen table and ponder how a peanut almost just killed me I'm kind of glad I did all that paperwork.
I share these posts because I have no where to put anything anymore. The people I talk to about my issues bear so much in my weight that I can only give them so much it's not fair to them.
I share these posts because I'm trying to find clarity within my own mind and not lose my mind in the process.
I share these posts because I know that those who read these words care enough to follow me.
I appreciate that more than any of you know the messages in the background the comments on my posts.
I love what I do and I love the relationships that I have created in the process with my clients with my friends and even with those who are no longer present in my life.
Currently it's a fight for me to be able to live at home. For me to be able to keep the fires burning to keep the dishes done and keep the driveway clean in case an emergency vehicle has to come get me.
Currently it's a fight but I'm in it and for me right now the simple win of being able to spend this time in my home means I am winning.
And thanks to your comments and messages I know I'm not alone. I know I have support and it truly means the world to me.
So thank you
For being you❤️